Burnout : The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle (9781984817075) by Nagoski Emily; Nagoski Amelia & DMA Amelia Nagoski

Author:Nagoski, Emily; Nagoski, Amelia & DMA Amelia Nagoski [Amelia Nagoski, DMA]
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Random House Digital
Published: 2019-03-26T00:00:00+00:00

The original idea of the exercise was that everyone in the room would see someone who looks like herself, and hear someone declare that person beautiful. But it turned out, even more powerful was the feeling of dissonance participants experience, seeing a body that they’ve been taught to perceive with aversion and being challenged to try on the idea that that body is beautiful. Emily has led this activity with everyone from college students to seasoned therapists to medical providers, and the response is the same: tears and an astonished awareness of how uncomfortable it is, at first, to view non-“ideal” bodies without judgment…and of how quickly it becomes a source of joy.

You will finish this chapter and go out into the world and notice the diversity of bodies around you…and you will still have these reflexive, judgmental thoughts about the people who don’t conform to the aspirational ideal, or those envious, contemptuous thoughts about the people who do, or those self-critical, scolding thoughts about the ways the world tells you you fall short. It will happen any time you’re out in public—on a train or a bus, standing in line at the checkout counter, at a party, at a work meeting, in a classroom. You’ll notice other people’s bodies, and you’ll have an emotional reaction to them. And then you might even have emotional reactions to your emotional reactions—“Darn it, I shouldn’t think that!”

That’s all part of the mess. Change happens gradually. Your brain has been soaking in the BIC for decades; and any time you step outside your door, you’re back in it; any time you turn on a television, you’re back in it; any time you put clothes on or take clothes off, you’re back in it. Just notice it, as you’d notice a fleck of dust floating through the air. Utterly neutral. No need to do anything about it. Smile kindly at the mess. And know what’s true: Everyone is the new hotness. You are the new hotness. So is she. So are they. So are we.

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